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this post is written beforehand.

everyone sounds so calm.

i do not noe whether i have the courage to step into college later.
im going to face it alone.
my fears,tears/joy,smile, im the only one who will understand, im the only one who noe what it will feel like.
it's a totally difference kind of feeling from olevel.
it's a far more threatening far more terrifying.
for the past few months, rehearsing mentally all kind of situations that it may happen.
yet it is not enough.

for the past few days, work distracted me away from the topic.
when it comes to night, trying real hard to find ways to get away from the topic.
please numb my senses.
i tried running to tired myself out to sleep better. but right now im still wide awake.

may not be able to take the fact, may not stand the whole thing.


我畏惧，我害怕.